Admonishment comes at a heavy price

He said that we needed to talk after sex. Why didn't he just wait to talk until after sex instead of telling me before hand? I couldn't sleep for nights. Then when he was about to get there, I no longer wanted to see him. I wasn't excited. I was scared.

I let him in and he begins to undress me. Tied at my wrists and placed on the bed in childs pose with my ankles bound as well, he begins whipping and slapping my ass. I enjoy my new toy, of which I will review next, and the combination of toys along with his intuitive patterns and levels of intensity.

Then he starts to talk. No, I am in trouble. The problem is, this wasn't play. He was really upset with me, but mixing it with play. As he is beating me he tells me of how I cannot pressure him into sex. That he is a taken man. That I cannot email him as often as I do. That our social relationship cannot be jeopardized. That we are free people to do as we please. As he goes on, taking his anger out on me, I can no long play along and instead of answering, I am quietly crying. My soul hurts.

I don't even remember the rest of the session. Even now I begin to cry.

When we spoke afterward he addressed my emotional state by saying he hopes that I am not too upset and then repeated everything he had said before. However, this time I was just numb.

I didn't get the chance to defend myself.

While I enjoy being dominated sexually, I will not accept being diminished as a person. Anyone who thinks that I want a good slap on the ass for emotional needs is way off; especially if that slap is meant to be punitive beyond the bedroom.